Hospitality Journey: Day 6 Recap

Well, at least they surprised us at church where we had clothes on and the children were dressed reasonably well, right?

Yep, after Sunday school yesterday morning I checked my phone and there was a text from my mom saying they had just gotten off at our exit and would see us at church. My jaw dropped and I showed Reid. Five minutes later, my parents walked into church.  Josephine clapped her hands and squealed "MeMom! Papa!" when she saw them.  Reid and I just squeezed our hands tightly together and exchanged glances in an "Oh my goodness, no they didn't!, but we'll smile and hold on tight to one another" kind of way.

We had a really nice day together regardless of the surprise and Reid didn't feel bad about working past dark on the tractor since I had eager babysitters who not only drove four hours for the job to work for a cup of coffee and a slice of cake. And, it did give me the opportunity after lunch to use my very favorite response that a reader posted on Facebook when I asked the question "What would you do if unexpected company drove up to your house?"  The response was to throw open the front door and announce, "Well, the mansion's trashed but come on in!"

I will honestly admit though that if this had happened the previous Sunday I might have politely waited until after church was over and then tell my parents just what I really thought of them showing up unannounced.  I mean, I love my parents dearly, but please! Come on, Mom, Dad- at least give me a little more notice so I can shove everything in a bedroom, lock the door and save face like my house was spotless and my life was perfect.  I don't want you to know that I really do.not.care that we toss clothes on the floor and they gradually make their way to the hallway where they then gradually make their way to the laundry room.  For your visits, mother dearest, I like to put all the clothes at least in the laundry room or lock them in my bedroom so you may continue to believe I wash, dry, fold and iron religiously.

And the thing about that thought is this:  Why does it matter so, so, so, so, so, soooo much what my mother thinks of my house?  God calls us to open up our homes.  He doesn't call us to timidly open our doors in fear of what others think of how we run our households.  He calls us to boldly swing open our doors and if we have to, proclaim "The mansion's trashed but come on in!!"  He gives us validity in the very fact that he created us in His image.  We are validated by this alone; not also by our homes, and not even what our mothers think of our homes.

The other thing that came up because of this:  Rather than Reid and I stewing all the way home from church and lunch or him saying something negative about his in-law's surprise visit, he just held my hand and laughed.  Then when we got home, he sprung into action and had the house picked up, laundry going and dishes washed in twenty minutes.  My heart swelled with gratitude toward him and when he did put his overalls on to go outside, he looked better than ever to me.

It turned out to really be true when they tell you to be careful what you pray for, because we actually do want to have the kind of house that doesn't shake with unexpected guests.  We want the kind of marriage that isn't divided into my life v. his life or my time v. his time or my family v. his family or my turn v. his turn. And we clearly got our chance yesterday to put that desire to the test.

So, thank you Reid, for your attitude and graciousness yesterday.  Thank you, Mom and Dad, for loving us and our children so very much that you would drive four hours just to spend an afternoon with us, and that you didn't call because you really didn't want me to stress over cleaning. I enjoyed yesterday immensely.  (But do call next time...)

Love,
Kathryn

8 Week Hospitality Journey: Recap Day 5

To be fully present in the present moment.

"...but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no." -James 5:12

We have just started doing the Washington Farmer's Market again (it's a lot easier to stand on your feet outside for hours when you're not pregnant and when it's not June, July, August or early September in Georgia).  Reid and I love being at this market-it's where Southern Scratch started and when we are there together it just seems more like getting together with friends than anything else.

So out of this whole week, being at the market was easily where I was "fully present in the present moment" of anywhere.  The weather was perfect, the baby slept the entire time and Josephine played the entire time.  Once we got back home, both kids went to sleep for a nap around the same time and I was able to sit on the front porch with our Sunday school lesson, my bible and a fresh cup of coffee.  Reid was in the yard getting everything together to take the tractor to work on clearing some fields/pastures in the back of the property.

It was totally serene, totally unusual and totally a complete opposite of the preceding week.

This verse above was close to where we were reading for our Sunday school class in James and it is what stood out to me on Saturday.  "...but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no, so that you will not sin and be condemned."  

As I've written earlier, focusing intently on carving out quiet where there is none has revealed all the different areas where I've spread my life out.  They are not bad things necessarily, but I find myself having to say "no" or "tomorrow" or "I haven't finished it yet because..." to something I had already said "yes" to doing today.  I think I'm not the only one who is full of good intentions and wants to do things sooo much, and do them sooo big, that they can't possibly do it all. This is an area I've gotten a lot better in since even before being married-mostly in the sense that I can recognize when I'm "so super excited" about something and so then try as hard as I can to keep my mouth shut before I volunteer to run it, cater it or donate all of my time/money/expertise/emotional energy toward it.

It's still a struggle though because, thank goodness, I still get really excited about things and I really like doing. And that means that I'm alive, I'm creative, that I'm generally joyful and that is a very good thing.  But this verse reminds me that I must be in prayer because I must, must, must! pause.  I have to pause and consider my time and my commitments before my "yes" turns into a no.

I think a big part of creating the warm home I envision for our family is me being dependable in this way-my "yes" meaning yes and my "no" meaning no.  My husband and my children need to be able to count on me doing what I say I'm going to do.  My friends and family need to be able to count on me when I say I'm going to arrive at a certain time or help with a certain task.

So if I've followed myself correctly- prayer leading to pause leading to manageable days that better lend themselves to "present moment living?"

Love,
Kathryn