A Warm Home.

Hey Y'all! Thanks so much to everyone who has liked our new Facebook page: Southern Scratch: Hospitality!  Below are the thoughts behind creating this page and a kind of 8 week "Hospitality Bootcamp" (or project or challenge or whatever you want to call it!) I'm "hosting" prior to the holidays.  Also included is my vision for what this group could become-how could we all get together and help each other learn how to really help each other? How do we create homes that foster love, joy and healing?

Lately, I can't help but think that with Pinterest inspired parties we are really great at throwing a beautiful party and probably pretty bad about just having a good time.

Lately, I can't help but wonder why we bring over a ton of gifts for a new baby but don't just show up simply to wash the dishes and leave a gallon of milk in the fridge.

Lately, I can't help but wonder why we bring tons of food to a new widow but forget about them three months down the road when they are deeply grieving and we have moved on.

Lately, I can't help but wonder why we don't bring anything to our friend who is going through a divorce when she is going through everything that the widow is going through in addition to trying to be strong for her children whose entire world is being rocked.

Lately, I can't help but wonder why we only begrudgingly invite unexpected company inside but don't stop to think about what is really going on in their lives that they would show up without calling.

Lately, I can't help but wonder why I care more about what a stranger thinks of my house than what my husband thinks about it.

Lately, I can't help but wonder why it is easier sometimes to try to squeeze in some cleaning while my daughter eats rather than sit down and share a meal with her.

Lately, I can't help but wonder why I have so many friends that are hurting right now but I'm too tired and too busy myself to be able to help with what they really need.

Lately, I can't help but wonder why I so badly want a home that is warm, inspiring, and full of love-but I don't take time each day to have quiet time, give thanks and connect with my Creator.

All of these things have been on my heart lately and the issue of hospitality is something I've thought about for a really long time.  I used to think I had to have a perfect house in order to have a real home.  I'm way over that now, but we currently have a toddler, a newborn, a business run mostly from our house, jobs, a farm, our marriage and well, things are a new kind of crazy.  And here is the thing:  I do not like crazy.  I do not like being so busy I'm bleary eyed and breathless.  And I do not like that pretty much since the day we got married, our life together has been so, so, so busy.

Recently, my dear sister-in-law asked me what I actually really wanted my life to look like.  The question caught me off guard because I was in the middle of listing off 50,000 different ideas I had on my mind with my family/career/Southern Scratch/the farm/the house, etc, etc.  When she asked me that, I got quiet immediately and said "Oh. I don't know.  That's a really good question.  I've never thought to think about that before."  Suzette is pretty amazing at how she can get to the heart of a matter.  She brings me (and my brother!) so much calm and I love and respect her deeply.

So I really meditated on her question and thought long and hard about what type of life I most wanted.  Reid and I curled up with coffee and wine a few nights to discuss his answer as well as what our answer would be together.  My mind is still racing somewhat  with a lot of ideas and decisions I'm facing, but I'm able to answer her question.

I want my life to look like this:  A warm home.

I want myself, Reid, our children, our loved ones and the unloved to be able to find warmth and peace in our home.  Most of all, I want them to feel that they are unequivocally and deeply loved by Jesus Christ. 

Out of everything we have going on and all the different directions our family, our jobs, our business, our farm, etc. can take, this is where I want us to be day in and day out.  I want a warm home.  But since our lives have been the aforementioned crazy pretty much since we said "I do," I realize it's going to take a good amount of time and thought toward making the type of decisions that support our vision for our life.

So I decided I wanted to dedicate the next eight weeks to a kind of "hospitality project."  I was going to wait until things were a little less busy but then I realized the whole point of this was to umm, make things less busy!  And I also thought I probably need a month on each "topic" but then I realized that my attention span might not last a whole month.  Also, the holidays are coming up-Thanksgiving is less than nine weeks away and fall is definitely here. I thought there really wouldn't be a better time than now to start since right at the end of the project, the holidays would start and we'd all be practicing some form of hospitality anyway.

Real hospitality is about meeting real needs of people with real love.  So rather than focus on a room in my house each week to "get clean for company," (not that it doesn't need it!), I'm focusing on a person or group each week and asking myself: What do they really need?  How can I make them feel loved in my home?  What physical needs can I take care of in my home?  What spiritual needs do they have?  How can I change my view of hospitality so drastically that my focus is on the other person rather than the things that have to do with me?  (Like how amazing my house looks, the gourmet meal I prepared and my own comfort zone?)

My ultimate vision for the Facebook page is that it will become a community of people sharing stories, encouragement and ideas for how they are showing real hospitality or were shown hospitality.  I'm hoping that starting after the holidays, we'll be able to focus on really specific needs for a few days or a week at a time.  For example, how can you help your friend who is going through cancer treatment?  Or what does a new mother really need?

But on with the project!  Below I've listed who I plan to focus on each week.  On the Facebook page, I'll ask questions related to that topic so we can get each other's feedback and experience. (Like especially how in the world do you make time for "quiet time" when babies are so unpredictable!?)  If the responses are anything like the ones so far it will get very entertaining!

Week 1: Tuesday, October 1st-Monday, October 7th:  Quiet time/Prayer
Week 2: Tuesday, October 8th-Monday, October 14th:  Myself
Week 3: Tuesday, October 15th-Monday, October 21st: My spouse
Week 4: Tuesday, October 22nd-Monday, October 28th: My children
Week 5: Tuesday, October 29th-Monday, November 4th: My parents, siblings, extended family
Week 6: Tuesday, November 5th-Monday, November 11th: My friends
Week 7: Tuesday, November 12th-Monday, November 18th: My coworkers, community
Week 8: Tuesday, November 19th-Monday, November 25th: "New" people, strangers
Thursday, November 27th: Thanksgiving and the holidays begin!!

I really hope y'all will join in with me, even if I'm the only one who needs an eight week "examine your life' project (especially so if your life is not crazy, you do a great job of loving on other people and your house is clean too because I would really like to learn from you!)

Tomorrow is Reid's birthday and Tuesday it all begins!

Love,
Kathryn