Week 2: Days 5, 6 & 7 Recap

To be honest, this has been a trying week with the exception of Saturday which was spent nearly entirely with the kids and my good friend.  I think I was so frustrated overall because I kept trying to "get" to the task of taking care of myself but it felt nearly impossible.  (I guess I must have thought that if I just declared this was "me" week, then the universe would shift and my schedule would clear and my two year old would do all the cooking and laundry while my husband nursed our newborn?)  Every time I would try to so something I needed, there was either some crazy interruption, a crying baby, or a toddler proudly showing me how to crack eggs...on the floor.

So last night, when I truly had accomplished nothing on my to-do list, I finally just had myself a little "come apart" and wailed about how I just couldn't have one free minute to do what I needed to do, for crying out loud!!  (I was longingly looking at a pile of clean clothes I wanted to fold when I said this.)  This was the point at which Reid helpfully pointed out that I should be able to get some housework done while the baby napped.  And then that was the point when I gently handed said baby to him, and then had the laundry folded, dishes washed and revenge plotted in about five seconds.  I can scrub some dishes when I'm angry.  I'm a not so merry maid.

A short time later, the catharsis was over and I remembered this:  I cannot rely on having my needs met by relying on others to read my mind.  (Or even reasonably expect my husband to read my blog apparently).  

At times this week I felt like I wanted to scream "People, don't rely on anyone but you to take care of you or you'll never get anything!"  But that is the prideful way out.  The reality is that we do need help from others at times,.  My husband is amazing, but he's still not psychic and I'm not even sure if he's great at Pictionary, so there is no way he is going to know how to help me if I don't tell him.  If I let pride get in the way of asking for his help, it will only breed bitterness in our home.  There isn't any value in being able to boast "I do everything for everyone in this house."  I want a loving home, not a bitter home.  So if I want to be able to meet my needs, I can't play charades.

Love,
Kathryn