Okay, now I'm in territory that I feel more comfortable in! What does my husband need? I could cheat and go back through the handouts we did for homework in pre-marital counseling, but the truth is that his needs have changed some the same way mine have. I often think about how different my life is than from five years ago, but my husbands life is very different too. We're not the same people we married. What he wants in a home is different than what he wanted as a bachelor (well, actually if he could move us all into a tent outside with an outhouse he probably still would). When we met, I had a full time job and he was a full time student, finishing up his last round of clinicals where he walked a couple hundred feet to the therapy gym from the intern cottage where he was staying. Now, he has a full time job and commutes an hour each way to work. We have children and not so much laid back time anymore.
That moment when my husband gets home has changed now too. When we were dating, we saw each other every day for two solid months. I would get home from work and he would walk over and we couldn't wait to kiss each other. Now, he slowly drives up and Josephine starts shouting "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy is home! Daddy home from work!" I hate to admit it, but passionate kisses have turned into tag-you're-it hugs.
When we were dating, it was easy to think of Reid as a guest in my home because he actually was a guest in my home. After we got married, I was the one who moved into his house. Until we painted the nursery it still mostly felt like I was living in his house, not ours.
So the goal of this week is to think of Reid as my guest again, my most beloved guest, in light of how we have both changed in the years since we've met. I want my husband to LOVE coming home each day. I don't want him to feel like he is coming home to chaos or to another job or to a frazzled wife.
I posted the questions below to use as a guide in my study of my husband's needs. And as I learned from my week of trying to meet my own needs, I'm not going to assume I know or try to read his mind. I'm going to actually ask him!
What does he/she really need? How can I make him/her feel loved in my home? What physical needs can I take care of in my home? What spiritual needs does he/she have? How can I change my view of hospitality so drastically that my focus is on them rather than the things that have to do with me?
Best of luck to everyone this week! Can't wait to hear how everyone's days turn out!
Love,
Kathryn
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